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[28 May 2005|02:44pm] |
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let's just say it's time for a change---
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tornpaperdoll_
if you add me, i'll add you too.
who wants to help me with a new layout?
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[22 May 2005|11:52am] |
be generous: donate a gun for my head.
oh yeah, i just adore crap weekends.
sweet sixteen party where no one danced.
if you spend your entire life locked inside of the box,
it is likely you will never experience fun- step outside.
spending 2 and a half hours supervisting 35 12-year olds
who can't jump on fucking trampolines by themselves without dying.
just listening to them made me want to throw up-
little immature ways of flirting and trying to act tough.
i laughed whenever a boy put his arm around a girl
who was way taller than him (female puberty comes first)
then she would put her head close to his
pretending like she was comfortable, sitting on a wire fence
leaning on his bony shoulder, attempting to smile for a kodak moement
only wanting to be noticed.
i need to punch someone in the face right now.
it will be the next person i see, so duck if you want to breathe again.
soccer has always been my only outlet.
i watched my game yesterday at hen hud.
adreneline boiled through my blood like the old days
but i couldn't use it up out on the field-
no feeling the sweat of the enemy
as you flex every muscle and lean into them to get an advantage
no feeling the hard ground rip open your skin
as you slid the ball from underneath a player
and the weight of her body shake the ground as she falls
and the blood dripping from my leg into my shin guard.
our second win of the season: 4-1
as the rain poured and the wind blew.
the final wistle echoed as we cheered
and a rainbow formed across the gray laced sky
from the rays of light peeking through the clouds.
all while perry was on his way to the hospital.
he had fallen off his new baby blue stunt bike
after he rode off a 4-foot rock with a straight drop.
he never cries. i wish he cried for once.
he fractured his collar bone and seperated his shoulder.
he's out of his season for 4-6 weeks.
that's three out of four: mommy is next.
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[18 May 2005|06:02pm] |
apparently, heat-trapping gases are filling the atmosphere creating incountable risks to humanity as a whole. we have been filling up our air with pollutous gases ever since the industrial revolution and the output increases each year.
one day, all humanity will be dead.
it could be within the next few hundred years.
now, i question our existance:
we may have been created by mistake.
fuck adam and eve.
we evolved from monkeys,
like the one who became addicted to cigarrettes.
there is no higher power in the sky watching over us.
there is no legacy we can leave behind forever.
no one cares in the end.
why do we work so hard?
what is it all for?
i wish i lived in a bubble.
my own bubble filled with jungles and rivers and fields
where i could roam around freely with my animal friends
and only wear clothes when i needed to keep warm
and only eat food that i picked from the trees
as i swing from branch to branch
with spotted rays of light highlighting my skin.
if only the stars could grant my wish.
but no one can hold power over the unvierse.
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| be an editor and a critic. |
[09 May 2005|03:59pm] |
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i would like your help, if you are willing to comply.
i am applying to a university for a creative writing program this summer.
and i need to send in two samples of my writing.
i wrote this piece on march 11 in my journal after surgery.
i may have already read this to a few of you if you visited me.
i like constructive critism and gramatical suggestions.
please don't waste your time if you don't care.
( click if you care. )
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| everything. |
[08 May 2005|12:59pm] |
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music |
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sugar, we're going down |
] |
pepsico gardens.
just click on the slideshow.
and turn your head sideways occassionally.
it took way too long to download all those photos
so i got aggrivated and didn't want to add direct links
(sorry, brianne).
these were from our ceramics trip on friday.
it was such a beautiful day
with such beautiful girls
exploring such beautiful lands.
this weekend was time spent well
in danbury connecticut
with one of my most favorite people
in the entire universe: booty.
its unfortunate camp is over for me.
the show on tuesday night was sweet.
fall out boy was amazing.
the academy is was beautiful.
gym class heros were eh.
stephen was horny.
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[01 May 2005|05:20pm] |
sometimes you have to
pull down your pants
and walk down the road
feeling the breeze
against your ass.
sundays are days for adventure.
exploring the rugged and rocky coast of a far away island,
climbing through jungles of vines and over bushes,
hiking on alge covered rocks as the tide rushes in,
leaping over river rapids to make it to dry land,
then lying down next to two of the best people in the world,
soaking in the rays of the sun, looking out to sea,
dreaming. and eating blueberry bagels.
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[27 Apr 2005|07:41pm] |
they are THIS THICK !!!
and the world stops.
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| prepare my grave: i have a permit. |
[24 Apr 2005|08:04pm] |
on the way back from connecticut, i drove the last half hour.
the entire time my mom kept patrolling my speed,
making sure i didn't go over 65.
as i getting off the highway, the light near the ramp was green.
but i guess my dad thought it was going to change right then,
and since he was itchy to get home after sitting in the car for three hours,
he screamed from the backseat: HURRY UP AND MAKE THIS LIGHT!
so i stepped on the gas going down the hill
and turned hard left at the same time.
my bigwhiteghetto mini-van nearly rolled over.
coco went flying across the back seat.
perry was holding on for dear life, even with his seat belt on.
then i slam on the breaks to prevent us from hitting a car
stopped at the next red light.
my dad never said a word the rest of the ride home.
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[22 Apr 2005|10:07am] |
i like dancing with you
under the full moon.
i feel like a star
when you spin me around.
then i laugh because
you don't know how.
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[02 Apr 2005|09:35am] |
not everyone who wanders
is aimless.
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[07 Mar 2005|09:35pm] |
at approximately 6:15 A.M. i arrive at the hospital tuesday morning.
then i'll go back to sleep (in an unnatural way).
i love you all.
my house will be my prison for the next two weeks.
i hope you can find a moment to drop by sometime.
smiles are contagious, you know.
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| love poem by vicki feaver |
[05 Mar 2005|10:25am] |
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"
sharing one umbrella
we have to hold each other
round the waist to keep together.
you ask me why i'm smiling --
it's because i'm thinking
i want it to rain for ever.
"
the juliana theory show thrusday night: sweet.
last night ava and i dress up
as a prom queen and a cowboy hooker
(respectively)
and answer the door for
the pizza man and harrison.
( a series: by heather knowlton. )
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[02 Mar 2005|07:38pm] |
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions.
Any 3, no matter how personal, dirty, private, or random.
I have to answer them honestly.
In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal
and you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.
Please do this.
(i copied this from jeremy.)
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[01 Mar 2005|10:05am] |
exactly seven days until my surgery.
i'll be all drugged up
and out of school for a week, at least.
feel free to visit me anytime you'd like.
i love surprises.
i want to start a list with suggestions
of each of your favorite movies,
so i can have a blockbuster spree
before i'm sliced open.
that goes for your favorite songs, too,
so i can download them on my ipod.
songs for any mood because who knows
how i am going to feel afterwards.
a snow day is a beautiful day.
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[15 Feb 2005|06:05pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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it seems like there were quite a few lucky ones out there.
including me.
now let's hope this luck streak lasts for 6 more days,
so i can enjoy my birthday on monday.
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| i drempt a beautiful dream. |
[06 Feb 2005|04:35pm] |
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i was in the car with my family, on the way to soccer practice. it became spring when we arrived at this beatiful field surrounded by huge trees and flowers, right next to a lake. and everyone from my team was passing the ball around, along with tons of people i didn't know. so i got out of the car and started crutching over with my bionical leg in the brace, and then i said hello to my coach, lied down my crutches and then started running laps with the team. with my brace on, i could still run and feel the breeze caress my face while my hair was blowing wildly. i beat everyone around the field. i was strong and powerful, but i felt like i was flying. when practice was over, i just picked up my crutches and crutched back to the car.
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[01 Feb 2005|07:09pm] |
i have to face it.
something always goes wrong on my birthday.
although i'll be in mexico for a week,
i'll be dragging myself around on crutches.
so much for scuba diving.
and fun in general.
i don't want to get older, yet.
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